Saturday I knew I was going out and I woke up late and I skipped bfast and just had a dinky lunch and went out to dinner.  I had orange roughy and a baked potato and chicken noodle soup.   I did’t feel like a salad drowned in dressing.

Well that was NOT enough food.  I was hungry leaving the restaurant.  I had pumpkin pie ala mode for dessert later.  I did so well, passing up candy and icecream cones .  I came home and had cereal I was so hungry.  Skipping bfast did no good!

Sunday I went out to eat after church and had a gyro and fries.  They were SO good.  And pancakes for dinner since we were not that hungry.

I think I messed myself up.  I am struggling today.  Although it could be a number of things, stress, conference, business etc.  I have to get on track.  I think I am going to print off some menus of things I have eaten and give myself some ideas when I don’t want to think so hard!

Oh well, I consider it a refeed.  Back to the old bump and grind !

So far, going down well.  I expected to lose this week but those fries do a salt thing on me, so the loss will probably not show up like I wanted. Oh well, it’ll come off someday!

I started tracking at The Daily Plate at LiveStrong.com also since I had no idea what some of my food points were.  Very good resource!  You do have to watch since people add items themselves. I kind of know what sounds right and what doesn’t

But I have been staying around 1650 or so calories with my points alotment.  More on days I use my Allowed Weekly Points.  So that is why the weight is coming off.

I want to start some exercise.  Have I said this before??  But it has to be gentle.  My knees acting up again.

I also wanted to mention that this WW thing was a secret present for my DH.  I was the present, 25 lbs thinner by Christmas.  Well I had to tell since SIL was being I M P O S S I B L E!!  She was saying I kept secrets from DH.  So I caved, that was the only thing he didn’t know about financially.  I don’t have mink coats and diamond rings I am buying ya know?

He was happy.  Not only that he said he could tell I lost weight but didn’t want to say anything in case I had not and hurt my feelings.  Can we have a big AAAWWWWWW!  Smoochers honey!

I fnally figured out my excel program so I can graph my weightloss.  Unfortunately I will not be updating it often since I have to capture the screen and them crop and upload.  I am just too busy at the moment.  Soon though, it helps to see coming drops.  I do have a pattern.

So happy, so happy!  I even had a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and Fries yesterday, YEAH!  Now THIS is living hehehehehe.

Sigh, finally.

My mom said I might make her jealous.  I DON’T EVEN CARE!  I don’t care WHO I make jealous.  I am not going to be the FATTEST person in my family anymore.  NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN!!  Hmmm the next fattest one is NOT going to like this, tough ain’t it LOL!!

Happy Dance!

Now DD is fighting it.  She was home yesterday and I found out via SIL that the school was thinking about closing down because of the flu.  I sent DS though and he is still there .  I kept DD home in hopes that she will not get it and spread it more. She sits next to this intensely gross kid who picks his nose and pulls out his wedgies all day.  He coughs in her face full on.  She is grossed out, talking second grade here.

I am a bit pooped from yesterday.  I think I’ll take a nap inbetween loads of laundry up to my thighs.  How in the heck does THAT happen.  I swear they put clean clothes in the laundry!

I didn’t log points today, but you know what?  I know I am fine, back to logging tomorrow.  Sometimes you just need a day to yourself and not to the “log” book!

I have to enter my points from today in order to figure out my weekly points allowance.  Them suckers save me LOL

Well I promised myself and God to go to WW for 16 weeks.  It’s paid for.  It’s done, so that is what is happening for 16 weeks.  For 16 weeks I am going to go to the meetings, even over the holidays.  For 16 weeks, I weigh in.  For 16 weeks I count flex points.

So I went to another different meeting, I like this lady too.  I think she thinks she owns me now LOL!!  We hit it off.  Funny thing is, she comes in talking about emotional eating (caught last nite)  She starts talking about being happy and wanting to eat fish and chips ( I did too)  She tells us that she gains 4 lbs in 3 days thanks to the fish and chips. 

THEN there is a young girl losing consistently every week.  The leader says to her, you drink your water don’t you?  Yes she does.  Kelly doesn’t.  I love water but for some reason it has not made it into my mouth!!  So today even before the meeting, I am looking at my swollen ankles and realizing water is a must.

So I took heart, this is water and this is my fault with sneaky sodium.  So I persevere!

I guess I am going to try the water first.  I have been eating out for a couple of days it is possible that the salt is a problem.  I weigh in on Thursday or Wednesday, I have to see when I can catch a meeting.  I hate weigh in’s I just feel judged.  I would rather not weigh in.

Today I just did not feel like doing WW.  Not to eat bad stuff but just not to count.  I still counted.  I under ate.  I am crabby today.  Boy this better work.  I hate feeling crabby and not losing, I think one feeds the other.

You can really tell I am in the change of life, one minute I am fine, the next I am going to bite your head off, ask my kids.

I also am tending to feel sorry for myself since I have not lost this week and kind of am in a holding pattern.  It is a rush to lose weight for a couple of weeks in a row and I remember that addiction.  I once lost 20 lbs on Quick Weight Loss diet, I spent $600.00 losing the weight, evidently money was the motivator here and then didn’t get the maintenance plan to go with it.  I added 10 lbs to the original 20 when I gained it back.  But I remember the rush of getting smaller.  I was reminded of that the last couple of weeks.  It makes things easier than if you get no where.

I will have to exercise.  Life is such a mess right now.  Football or lack thereof ought to free me up.  I keep telling myself that as the evening progresses and I still did nothing LOL!!

I’ll just keep moving forward.  God, I hope this works…

Oh, one more thing, No Pudge 1 point brownies, OH MY GOD!  Heaven… I used WW white chocolate raspberry yogurt to mix it up. AWESOME!  2T of mix to 1T of flavored yogurt, usually vanilla, zap 1 min.  I nuked it 30 seconds, I like my gooey, and gooey and warm and chocolatey it was.  This will save my butt.

I went to grab a little Debbie Star thingy, I don’t like them alot but I like them sometimes. I pointed that thing, OMG 8 points, I threw that thing away like poison. I was greatly amused at my response LOL! I started to wonder what I would not eat that I normally did because of obscene points LOL!!

I am going to drizzle oil on my pizza, it seems SO wrong LOL!!! I started to panic today reading an article about someone only getting 19 points. Did some of you find you wanted to go to core once you got to a certain point? I mean you can eat fine I guess on 19 points but heck that ain’t a lot of food. It was in a WW mag I saw it.

I am going to write a page on my blog to inspire myself. Reasons why I want to lose weight. I had been following the Beck Diet Solution book and got to busy. It was great to help me stay OP. I am coming back to it for motivation, or really just strength to keep going as I am. I realized last night that it would be nice not to worry if I was going to bend the folding chair because my DD wanted to sit in my lap. Then it moved on to being comfortable in many seating arrangements and I didn’t really realize that there was an issue until I started thinking how nice it would be to have a narrower butt!

I did a vitual model and played with it quite a bit. I was bummed that I couldn’t even tell a weight loss until 25 lbs. SHEESH that was a bummer. It needs to be every 25 lbs or so until about 175.

I started to have a panic attack over wardrobe issues. I had to calm myself down LOL!! I have enough stuff to last for a 25 lb loss but then I need new clothes. I started to wonder in this economy…. Any tips there? I was thinking eBay.

I got the cookie dough thing down LOL.  It is imperfect but it works for me.  I bought chocolate chocolate chip, chocolate chip and oatmeal Betty Crocker mixes.  I portion out some and add water and mix in Old fashioned oats.  It is so satisfying for me.  Okay this AIN’T clean eating.  It is CONTROLLED eating.

I have come out the closet at long last with my batter thang.  It feels good.  I gave into something that has been there since I was, oh, about 6 years old!  I used to sneak my moms cake mixes and hide it in the bathroom and then grab a cup and spoon and go there and mix up my batter.  Okay that was weird. BUT TRUE.  This did not cause my obesity.  I was not obese until I was almost thirty.  I was a size 8-10 for many many years.  Perhaps it was trying to deny myself and hide the fact and feel dirty for eating my batter.  I dunno, I get too deep.   BUT I AM HAPPY NOW!

I had 6 points left over for today that I had to eat.  I was going to do icecream, but I did COOKIE BATTER!!  With fiber of course hehe.  I am so proud of myself.   Watch me never crave batter again LOL!!

I got the No Pudge brownie mix to make my 1 point brownies with and some sugarfree fudge pops.  I ate two last time and the rest dissappeared.  Okay, that maketh me mad!  My daughter begs me for my yogurt LOL!!

I got all the stuff to make DaVinci Granola.  I also am going to try this recipe I found from a lady from Europe.  I splurged on golden syrup for it.  I am going to make some with almonds.  My daughter will go nuts over it.  I like it on yogurt and recently on a “fried” apple.  It is kinda like apple crisp with a dollop of cool whip free .  Slurp!

I am down almost 8 lbs now. I have been graphing my weight loss on Crosstrainer and I am starting to notice “my” trend.  I hit a low and then I go up for a couple of days and then I stay at that low go down slowly hit another low and then go up a couple of days.  That keeps my paranoia from coming back.

Have you ever had the terror of a rising scale?  There is nothing like it!  And what is weird, instead of doing the logical thing and stop eating so much, it seems to spur it on!  Oh the woe of emotional eating LOL!

Next week we are done with Little League football, HALLELUJAH!  It was too long with a losing team and our coaches were @#%*&#@.  Yeap.

So that means I have to make DS a workout with our weights.  Ahem the ones we bought in March and never used because they gave us the wrong free weights… and it took until June to get them and by then I had knee problems and acid reflux heart attack scare stuff etc.  But  I am going to do it.

I am toying with Fatloss I from New Rules of Lifting.  We will see….

I am going to try a new meeting tomorrow at 10 am, I am a day early.  I can’t let head games rule here.  I just have to move forward, period.

In the last couple of weeks I have proved a lot to myself.  That I could live through hunger, and it goes away.  That I am not starving everyday, just some days.  And I can follow a diet.  This one seems to be easy for now.  I just want progress.

My jeans fit a helluva lot better thank GOD!  Now to get rid of some belly.  That will be the first major thing to go, the jelly belly, I hope.  I usually have a pancake flat stomach even heavy and I run heavier in the hips.

It really helped as I looked through the success stories at people who lost 100 pounds.  What struck me was how much younger they looked.  WOW could I look young again?  It totally changed how they looked, from the beautiful to the not so, they all became all they could be.  Isn’t that what we want, to be our best.

My mind started churning.  Oh gosh, what if?  What if I lost and transformed my life?  I admit if I had to go get another job hairdressing it would make it easier possibly even exciting.  Or being able to shop in the mall at any store I wanted!  Oh heck, getting back into misses sizes again! I am not even that far away from that!

I have to keep the dream alive.

One admission, I have not been reading the Beck Diet Solution like I should have, I got to get back to that again!  Never get cocky, you can fall when you are not on guard!